Paul asked me to pull weeds in the small garden in our front yard.  After I attempted to come up with 1,574,943 reasons why I couldn't, I replied, "OK, I'll do it tomorrow."  Tomorrow came and I did it. What I didn't know was that when I was done, I found myself wishing we had a bigger garden, which means more weeds, which means more flowers.

It is virtually impossible to pull weeds without tugging at the root of a flower.  Do it anyway.  The same is true when you plant a flower.  You end up uprooting a weed, or 2.  Pull it anyway.  A friend of mine was telling me that her child was having leg cramps in the middle of the night.  We both looked at each other - at the same time, and said, "Growth spurt.”  I thought that I past the point of having a growth spurt.  Physically, maybe.  Mentally, emotionally and spiritually, never.

Writing for me, is cathartic. It is a release of the thoughts (and experiences) that I have swirling around in my head.  It's a form of therapy.  This afternoon, it was time.  This morning began with me, in bed, making my gratitude list.  I wanted AND needed to do this before my feet hit the ground because I didn't want to forget.  Forget things that I am grateful for? Yes, forget. If I stray too far from this humble and necessary form of meditation, I risk the chance of self will run riot.  And that is never a good place to be.

I have turned over the final phase of my parent’s home to the professionals.  I did not realize how much this had taken out of me; however, I would not have done anything different.  In a couple of weeks, it will be 2 years since my father passed away.  There is not a single day that goes by where I don't think of him, ask for his guidance and long to hear the sound of hear his voice.  Enter God.  What used to be 911 calls and foxhole prayers have turned into daily conversations with my father through Our Father.  No more panic. No more impending doom. Just peace. And love. The kind of peace and love that is heaven sent.  Every morning I ask my father to set aside some time from his busy schedule in heaven to talk to me. I often wonder if he is busy catching up with those who passed before he did.  And I smile when I picture him welcoming newcomers.  I have a beach chair in trunk of my car. Our cemetery talks are the best.  It's just the two of us.  There was a time in my life when I thought I would never have him all to myself.  I do and that time is now.

This sacred time with my father has allowed me to be more aware of the time that I spend with others and, more importantly, how I am show up for them.  I am comfortable with a small circle of friends. Today, my conversations with others flow and carry with them a steady, placid pace . I listen, they talk, and most importantly, I do my very best not to interrupt.  I recently took a course on this and learned so much about healthy forms of communication.  I am a sponge. I long to learn, live and love in a way that, as times, feels childlike. 

Enter grandchildren.  These little humans that saved me from taking myself, life, and a simple game of tag too serious.  In November, our 4th grandchild will grace our life with his or her presence and I cannot wait. One more to love. One more that gets to teach me another lesson is my book entitled, Unconditional Love.

I am blessed. I am loved. I am alive. I am healthy. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a wife. I am a mother. I am a grandmother. I have a lot of life ahead of me and it’s waiting for me to pack a yummy, nutritious basket of all that is good and settle in this to a place where the sun is shining and green grass is sprinkled with some weeds; but all I can see is flowers.

Mary, Mary quite contrary How does your garden grow? All the flowers, all the colors All in a perfect row First the seeds And then the water Keeping a little space Daisies here, roses there Each one has their place Mary, Mary quite contrary How does your garden grow? Forget- me- nots and marigolds Tied up in a bow Coralbells and goldenrod Standing up so tall Baby’s breath, candytuft And violets are so small Mary, Mary quite contrary How does your garden grow? Lavender and hollyhocks Grow from the seed we sow Pretty pinks, and pale purples Fill your garden, too White and yellow And blue blossoms All for me and you All for me and you All for me and you

#garden #god #communication #listen #love #peace #compassion