"Children are one third of our population and all of our future."

I will be the first to admit that the majority of my blogs have been about my experiences with personal triumph (finding my voice), personal tragedy (saying goodbye to my mother and father) and some benign ramblings. All of that was important but yesterday afternoon, I found myself moved in a way like never before, to write about what our children, stepchildren, nieces, nephews, and grandchildren have experienced since late 2019.

I am not a psychic; however I do know that there was a tremendous amount of tension in a lot of households prior to 2020. Just because "little ears" are not in the same room as adults are, they can hear and pick up on what's going on. The literal divide (and demise) of longtime friendships, families and co-workers after one President was not reelected and a new one would come into office had children asking their parents, "Why is everyone so mad"? I'm sure a good majority of parents had to pause before they answered simply because they were asking the same question; when did the subject of politics become our focal point at the dinner table and why did I "forget" to ask my daughter/son how his/her day was? and why does a meal usually end with someone walking away upset? Was the meatloaf dry? or the conversation redundant?

As if that wasn't enough, enter a pandemic. The pandemic didn't even have the courtesy to knock on our door; it barged in and, like a family member who outstays his/her welcome didn't give us any indication of how long it was going to stick around. I vaguely remember reading in school about the Spanish Flu of 1918, 1957 Asian Flu, and 1968 Hong Kong Flu. The 2009 H1N1 Swine Flu is one that I clearly remember hearing and reading about. Not only will I never forget the COVID-19 pandemic, I will also remember those, who overnight, became scientists, critics, fearmongers and could cast judgment on anyone, anywhere. A computer screen and cellphones became weapons of mass destruction.

Since my children are adults, I can only speak to the effects that all of this has had on my grandchildren. Long before it was decided that children needed to be removed from the classroom (which included routine, friends, teachers and socialization), they were already trying to cope with bullying, drug and alcohol use, sexual activity, peer pressure (sexting), social media, and increasing on-screen violence. This article speaks to the social issues in detail.

https://www.verywellfamily.com/startling-facts-about-todays-teenagers-2608914

Over the last year, my granddaughter developed Trichotillomania. This did not happen overnight; most illnesses don't. The last time I saw her was in June of 2020. We were body surfing on Fort Lauderdale beach and our biggest concern was how to get the sand out of our bathing suits! I noticed something was different but couldn't pinpoint what it was. Without asking (I'll wait until if and when) she wants to talk about it. She literally went from ringing in the New Year, saying goodbye to her great grandmother, and within a week - no school. To assume that remote learning is for everyone, is like saying alligator tastes like chicken! It doesn't! To automatically think that children are going to adjust to remote learning because they are more computer literate then the generation before them, is a form of prejudice and to assume that when they don't "catch on", that they will tell on themselves, which very rarely happens. When a young person starts keeping secrets, the fallout can be like the monster under the bed, only the monster is real and is now sleeping beside you. School has resumed. Playground friendships picked up where they left off. Many adults continued to “move about the cabin" (some quicker than others) but many, many are left with scars and they run deep. You cannot have a scar without first having an injury. I want the healing to begin and I want to be an informed part of the solution. A couple of months ago, I did not know anything about Trichotillomania; but you can better believe I have read articles and stories about those suffering from this illness and those who are in recovery. Here is a link to an article that I helpful. https://www.bfrb.org/learn-about-bfrbs/trichotillomania

In a society that encourages us to live life one day at a time (a philosophy I subscribe to), it is dangerous to become ignorant of something that does not directly impact you, me, us... If we are honest, probably each and everyone of us has uttered, tweeted, posted and re-posted the phrase, "We are all in this together." I know that moving forward, I will be mindful of the quips that I see and want to share with the world because it is so “moving and inspiring”. What shakes me to my core, is when others suffer. Suffering at home and abroad. I have made a conscious decision to take my worries and powerlessness to prayer. I pray to understand what does not make sense and for the willingness to help whomever and wherever I can; BUT help and compassion must begin at home.

These past 2+ years has taught me to be my own researcher, a digger, an archeologist (if you will) of matters that I didn't know about because they didn't directly affect me. I am not ashamed of my ignorance, but am enlightened and want to dig deeper. Watch out world, I just may uncover the next dinosaur species, and if I continue (which I will), I may help a little girl who is carrying the weight of the world on her tiny shoulders discover that there are many who would gladly lighten her load and hear her giggle as she jumps waves in the ocean, has sleepovers with her friends and plants daffodils in the spring so that when the doldrums of winter is over...new life will reveal itself and, therein, is where hope resides.

With gratitude and insight of self,

Kim