Perfectionism is poison.

Many of us believe perfectionism is a positive. But researchers are finding that it is nothing short of dangerous, leading to a long list of health problems – and that it’s on the rise.

The drawback of perfectionism isn’t just that it holds you back from being your most successful, productive self. Perfectionistic tendencies have been linked to a laundry list of clinical issues: depression and anxiety (even in children), self-harm, social anxiety disorder and agoraphobia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, binge eating, anorexia, bulimia, and other eating disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, chronic fatigue syndrome, insomnia, hoarding, dyspepsia, chronic headaches, and, most damning of all, even early mortality and suicide. BBC

If you have experienced even one of these symptoms, its time to take a look at the expectations that you are putting on yourself. Yes, I said you. It begins with you. Your employer, spouse, partner, sister, brother, friend isn't the one pushing you toward doing everything perfect, its your current self talk. It's the tape that is on constant "repeat" or "shuffle", yet you won't press the stop button. You just keep changing the batteries. One day the batteries stop working and you find yourself in a spiral worse than the one Dorothy found herself in before her visit to the Wizard.

Here is where I spoil the ending...YOU ARE THE WIZARD. There is no curtain. There are no appointments. There just has to be a willingness for change. To be un-perfect. To be seen as silly, normal, and god-help-us-all, with no filter! Whose bright idea was it to put filters on social media sites? Wasn't it bad enough that someone invented a mirror where you can see that your pores have pores?

“Black-and-white thinking can lead perfectionists to interpret failures as catastrophes that, in extreme circumstances, are seen as warranting death,” the researchers wrote. “Our findings also join a wider literature suggesting that when people experience their social world as pressure-filled, judgmental, and hypercritical, they think about and/or engage in various potential means of escape (eg, alcohol misuse and binge eating), including suicide.” BBC

I’m (sic) a work in progress. But what I’ve noticed is that, each time I’m able to replace criticizing and perfecting with compassion, I feel not only less stressed, but freer. Apparently, that’s not unusual. “It can be liberating, allowing imperfection to happen and accepting it and celebrating it,” “Because it’s exhausting, maintaining all of that.” BBC

So, what the solution? How do I become less perfect? Start by being aware of when you veer off your path and head toward Perfection Place, make a U-turn and pull over to Compassion Court. Your body has an awareness meter, as does your heart. The two want to work in tandem, please don't stand in their way.

I leave you with this picture that I found on the Mud Run website. Was the woman on the far left doing the obstacle correctly? The woman in the middle? Or myself? The answer is an easy one for me; we were all doing it the way we wanted to, and the best part of it all, is that we had to idea we were being photographed! No edit! No do-over! No worries!

Find your fun. Work on your your need to be perfect by recognizing when you are headed in that direction. I want you to be healthy, happy and live a long imperfect life. Just.Like.Me.

xo