Was the engagement ring a rock?, no. Was the wedding ceremony extravagant, not really. Was the love real and everlasting?, absolutely.

I have been writing for months about the loss of my father, packing up and moving out of my childhood home, and the changes that go along with…well, change. When I began to write, I was sad. I was lost. I was scared. Through writing; I have found joy, my purpose and that fear is a liar.

When your last name rhymes with mouse, you collect, all things mice! My parents had a great sense of humor; hence the picture with the stained-glass mouse, with a cross around its neck (insert really, really big smile) A Christian "Smouse." Who finds this kind of stuff? My parents, that’s who! The love that they had for one another and the life that they created for us was pure. No pomp. No circumstance. Just them. Kind and gentle. Gentle and kind.

My sisters and I had the rare and sacred opportunity to touch, smell, ponder, talk about, and take with us memories; not just of our past, but the pasts of our parents. We came across items that we wanted to keep only because we were not sure who or what the person or thing meant to our family. We made intimate, lifelong promises to one another about the memories that we uncovered and how our parents past has now become a part of our future.

“Boxes here, boxes there, boxes everywhere.”

I found my mom’s engagement ring and my father’s wedding band. I know it was my fathers because my mom had something engraved in it. The “something” can’t be shared, because it’s their something. It’s a word or words, that couples give to one another that only they know about. A different language – a love language. I took them home a couple of week ago and have been wearing them ever since. I’m not sure how long I will keep them on. I don’t have to know. I just know that I want their love wrapped around my ring finger and that’s all that matters.

There are pictures they took and pictures they are in. Furniture that was purchased and furniture that was given to them for safekeeping. Crystal, wood, glass, china, real, fake, pretty, not-so-pretty and the like. We got a glimpse into a love that loved life and a life that was full of love. There was one hard and fast rule when we began this process and that was keep all the pictures. We will go through them individually and pass them on to the next sister and then meet and tell each other who was who and what was where. A slumber party is in our future and so are making new memories.

There will always be a place in my home and in my heart for anything that involves my family and my husband’s family. I have no desire to find out the monetary worth of anything that my parents possessed; for their items hold and will always have heart value. And heart value is the thing that will never lose its worth. I hope you have a place in your home that when you go there all you feel is love. If you don't, I encourage you to create such a space. And when you do, please share it with me, so that I too, can see what makes your heart happy.

“If For Girls"

IF you can trust yourself ...IF you can live...IF you can balance dreams and practicality...IF you can temper facts with understanding..IF you can strive...IF you can give your help...IF you take resources that surround you and use them in the way you feel you should, You'll be a woman and all those around you will be richer for your womanhood."

#family #sisters #lovewins #commitment #faith #god