A friend of mine has been on my mind. A lot. Like everyday, a lot. Something happened between us that I could not let go of and I did not have the energy or desire to work out it at the time, until yesterday. Yesterday was THE day. I went to my contacts - found her name and tapped the dial button. My palms weren't sweating, my heart, not racing. The conversation ended when she arrived at her destination, the hospital. She was going to visit her father. Time is my friend and I can also make it my enemy. Today I know the difference. Today I wanted to right my wrong. Today I cleaned up my side of the street.

If you are reading this and thinking why does it sounds like she’s beating herself up? You’re missing the whole point. When something goes wrong in a relationship – any relationship, not just one person has a part in it. Everyone has a part. When I put pen to paper, it is so clear. It is never 90/10, 80/20, or 50/50, it’s a part - a part that makes me feel uncomfortable and stunts my spiritual growth. And when you have a moral compass that points up, carrying around unfinished business is a weight that can drag you down – mind, body and spirit. Denial feels heavy and every dirty at times. I like to feel light and clean and I like my side of the street the same way.

“There are many profound differences between giving someone an apology and making amends with them. Simply put, an apology is like putting a band aid on a wound; it covers the source of the pain until it eventually disappears. When you make a sincere apology to someone that you’ve hurt, it makes you both feel a little better but it doesn’t really do anything to correct the situation that you have caused. Making amends is the best way to reconnect with the people who have been deeply hurt as a result of your actions.”

Tim Stoddart

Late in the afternoon, I received a text from my friend (I wrote about her in a previous blog). The text was a picture of a sonogram that was just taken at her OB’s office confirming that she is pregnant. She told me that she shared this with her sister at her bedside about the growing baby in her belly and after she sent the text, she said, “She was unconsciousness when I told her when she was in hospice, but I know she knows now because she is in heaven.” Her sister passed away just weeks ago, and now she and her husband will bring new life into this world. Had I not created space in my heart by the conversation that I had earlier in the day, I do not think that I would see all the miracles in this paragraph. Sometimes, we need to get uncomfortable so that you can become comfortable.

“If we miss the moment, we miss the clues. In the present, when we allow ourselves to fully live there we are restored, made wiser, made deeper and happier."

Marianne Williamson

I was curled up on the couch watching television with Paul last evening when the phone rang. It was my friend whom I had spoken with earlier in the day. She was on the way home from visiting father. We picked right up where we had left off except that this time there was fear in her voice. Uncertainty. The what ifs were creeping in. There are no coincidences in my life. Ever. She has my rock when my father was sick. I talked, cried, worried, broke down and eventually had a profound spiritual awakening because I chose to show up for my father and my family. As for my friend and I, we’ve got each other and always will. Our egos and negative self-talk had put a wedge between us for a short while; but not anymore. Every time I right my wrongs and stop keeping score, I win. We all win. I hope life finds you winning, all the time. And just so were clear, there are no winners and losers

in life. There are only those who choose to live the status quo and those who push the envelope because they know what’s inside and not living up to their fullest potential is not an option for them. Open the envelope, let the light in.

Blessings.

Kim

#IMpossible #god #amends #friends #shineyourlight #newlife