I have been reading a book with a friend of mine and whenever I want ask what does this mean? she says, “Let’s look it up.” There have been many times when I think I know the meaning of a word; however, when I take the time to do this, I am surprised at how many definitions a word really has. We are reading the book out loud because when I hear her voice (and she hears mine) the words seem to sink in and take on a whole new meaning.

Take for instance, the word advocate. It is a noun, an action word. There are many synonyms for this words word such as; to support, uphold, back and champion. I am an advocate. You are an advocate. We are all advocates. Have you been supportive of someone today? Did you use your voice to help another person when they did not know how to use his or her own voice? When was the last time you defended the weak?

Reflection is an amazing gift. In grade school, I remember the first time I had to stick up for myself. In middle school, it was every man for himself. In high school, I made friends that stood up for me when I wanted to cower, turn the other cheek and cave to peer pressure. This would become my foundation for giving back to others. I remember thinking, if I could “survive” high school, the rest of my life would be easy.

I had our first child when I was 21; our second at 26. Having children stirred up emotions that I didn’t know I had. Listening to a teacher tell you what your daughter said, or what your son threw at another child was a bit unnerving. My son would always say, “You always believe the teacher!” After repeatedly hearing him say that, I asked him to tell me his version of what happened. And then it dawned on me; I would take him with me to talk to the teacher. When he became a part of the conversation, the whole dynamic changed. He would listen and not get so defensive. It was no longer she’s right and your wrong, a solution was taking place right before my eyes. He had a voice. He was becoming his own advocate.

The last six months before my father passed away, I was his advocate. When he went for his examinations, I would ask the questions that I knew he wanted to ask, but wouldn’t. When he was in the hospital, I (along my sisters) would wait until the doctor made his or her rounds to make sure we heard what the next step was in his treatment. There is a big difference between hearing words v reading them off a chart. We wanted the doctors to know that we were our father’s mouthpiece – his eyes and ears. We wrote a sign on the wall above my father’s head that read, “Patient is the deaf in his left ear and blind in his right eye.” Most of the time the sign went unnoticed; but it did not stop us from letting everyone know that he had limitations and he needed assistance.

Weeks after my father passed, I joined a gym. I had not taken care of myself and knew that I needed the accountability of a personal trainer. My trainer’s sister has been sick for a very long time and, now, she is at the end stage of her life. My beautiful, wonderful, compassionate friend had to have the conversation, that conversation, with her family about what the next step would be for her desperately ill sibling. Her family was avoiding the conversation like the plaque. I know how she feels. I know how the family feels. I know what the conversation sounds like. I know…..My friend called me a couple of nights ago and told me that her sister was moved to a hospice facility and that her family is slowly trickily in from up North to hold her sisters hand, give her a hug, and whisper their final goodbyes. The person that I chose to hold me accountable for my health is now experiencing what I went through. She has become her older sister’s advocate, a role she never, ever wanted; but a role that her sister assigned to her – all because of trust, love and a lot of extremely tough conversations about her demise.

I do not believe in coincidences. I believe that everything happens for more than one reason, perhaps hundreds of reasons. I believe in the power of love. I believe in stepping outside of my comfort zone. Keep your eyes and heart open for an opportunity to be an advocate. Teach, encourage, instruct, mentor, praise, influence, guide and inspire each other daily. When the day is over, rest, and when the sun comes up the following day, get up and do it all over again!

I write about experiences and awareness that I have had in my life. Many things are being revealed to me and I am excited to share them with you. It is my belief that we are all just walking each other home and I am willing to hold your hand through the process.

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On the first page of my website, is my contact information. I would be honored to hear about your experience, strength and hope with a situation or situations that you thought you would never be able to get through, but did!

Purely,

Kim